WE NEED A LITTLE STUART SMALLEY TONIGHT

imageWhen I feel like I’m going nowhere in life. When I hit the wall of the broken world. When nothing is going MY way. I turn to humor. In 1992 Al Franken created the Stuart Smalley character on SNL. Stuart was a suffering recovering 12 stepper in Overeaters Anonymous and Al anon. He was working hard to get self esteem and be a better person. I love how he would affirm the best but still regress. When he slid back into negativity he stopped and said. BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE “I’M GOOD ENOUGH, I’M SMART ENOUGH, AND DOGGONE IT PEOPLE LIKE ME!”

So let’s end the week with Stuart. Enjoy and laugh. It’s silly but profound. Also the best skits on SNL were Stuart trying to help others. 

I WAS LOST AND MORE WAS REVEALED 

A lot has been revealed in the past weeks.  I faced a lot about myself and how my purpose was morphing again.  I’m not making things happen.  There was the ADHD gear box.  I was in neutral. Thinking of so many great things but not being able to engage and complete the ideas.  The result was what I created an artist block.  I stopped my art and got lost in the distractions to avoid my vision.

AVOIDANCE!!!   A corrupting thread in my life based on fear.   

I’m facing the fact that creating an art business is work.  I can’t wait for the perfect action to take and have the expectation that it will be the answer.  I need to keep being a doer.  Every day.   

One thing I started to do was paint again.  An artist has to keep honing their skills.  Also I am embarking on going back and renewing my drawing skills.   I’m playing with creating a character of myself in drawing.  Art has to come first and then I will be able to create my art business.

ART FIRST!!!!

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ANNOUNCING:  MY BLOG DO-OVER

The last few weeks have challenged who I am and where am I going as an artist and blogger. It was not pretty but definitely enlightening to say the least!

Crashing and burning is a sign for me something needs to change.  That thing is usually ME.  

I was trying to learn how to be a successful blogger and business owner.  After listening and researching hundreds of podcasts and listening to an overload of coaches who had different versions of the basic idea (you need them to get it) I found myself concluding that I am a definite loser at the game. 

This morning was the culmination of my life as an artist blogger business owner. . . “I’m a recovering starving artist!!

   
 I froze and lost all belief in my vision and gave up on everything that I have done successfully.  

So Fearless Artist Blog is really about getting my courage back.  Acknowledge my imperfections of learning disabilities and ADHD but not let them take me down.  

I will keep challenging and celebrating ME.   Face the world and speak my truth.  Define my success of perserverance and let my voice about art is for everyone ring out.  

  
   

HELLO MY NAME IS JEAN AND I’M AN ARTIST WITH ADHD 

I wish there was a 12 Step program for my struggles with this issue.  So I am going to adapt AA’s program to help me work through ADHD symptoms that do not serve me as an artist who is building a creative business.  Please join me on a road less traveled – it starts with BELIEF!
  

DISCLAIMER:  I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR.  I ONLY SHARE MY EXPERIENCE STRENGTH AND HOPE ON DEALING WITH MY ADHD ISSUES.  PLEASE CONSULT PROFESSIONAL HELP TO DETERMINE YOUR NEEDS. 

I have been blogging for a very short time.  It was done without really thinking about what my blog would be.  I admit I was impulsive and said this may work (or not).  So I wanted to let artists know how I recovered from a 30 year artist block that ended in the loss of a 13 year marriage and losing  custody of my 5 year old son due to the destruction of my true self.  That is a whole other post.  

I AM READY FOR THE NEXT BLOGGER LEVEL.  TRANSPARENCY.  AUTHENTICITY AND CREATIVITY.  

I never knew I had ADHD until I turned 50.  I struggled my whole life to survive and fit in a world I didn’t understand.  I ended up abusing alcohol and drugs to self medicate since I was 11 years old.  In February 2001 I destroyed myself and everyone around me.  I was sent to a treatment center in Pennsylvania for 30 days but I was so sick I ended up there for 7 months.  On September 10, 2001 I left rehab with a suitcase and pillow and quilt to my new apartment in Queens. The next morning 9/11 happened.  I realize now what a metaphor that was.  The end of New York City as we knew it (safe and routine).  As I watched the Towers crumble before my eyes in disbelief the impact of something so permanent crashing down and disappearing in a short time I now see as the crumbling of my life as knew it was also crashing. 

I needed to rebuild me. 

6 months later I was diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities.  FINALLY EVERYTHING MADE SENSE!  I learned I was not crazy, lazy or stupid.  

So I want to let my blogging friends know who I am and how I dealt with my struggles to manage a life that was lost for so many years.

In 2009 I was laid off from a 19 year legal secretary position in a very large New York City law firm.  I didn’t see the gift this would eventually become.  I had to make a decision at the age of 57 to not hide out in a secretarial job.  I had to face the question either I’m an artist or not.  Am I willing to go to any lengths to finally be visible and show my art. 

I’m committed to finally being free to stop giving up on myself and my talent.  My previous posts show my journey. Now I am adding to that journey the up and down pathways of a artist of maturity in a world of economic uncertainty creating a prosperous business in the arts. 

I’m spiritually guided to help artists who struggle with believing that they can’t be successful.  Who have given up on their art. Who feel that they are too old or not good enough to live a creative life.  This is not for artists who want to do art to make money and be famous.  I’m an artist who does art because I must.  I never paint to sell.  I have come out of the cave and have built a big internet exposure slowly.  I have done art shows where I was the oldest person there. Also the only woman artist. I don’t think about being old and not fitting in. In fact I am grateful to be able to have my work out there. When I first let my work be shown I SOLD MY ART! And I continue to sell. 

My vision expanded to be an inspirational artist speaker and coach to help those who have ADHD or artist blocks.  

THIS BLOG IS ABOUT BEING A FEARLESS ARTIST.  BEING A SUCCESSFUL ARTIST DEALING WITH ADHD SYMPTOMS.  I NOW WORK WITHOUT EGO.  I WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE SUCCESS. I DEFINE SUCCESS IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.  

IT STARTS WITH BELIEF!

  


MEET PHOTOGRAPHER SAM HORINE

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As an artist in today’s art world I make sure I get out and learn what other artists are doing to be successful with their art.  I posted the lecture I attended at the National Arts Club on how artists are using Instagram to promote their work. 

I took a seat in the front row as I always do and that put me within a foot of the handsome face of Sam Horine, one of the guest speakers   Sam radiated a sense of true authenticity and confidence without ego   I’m good at picking up “artistic ego driven” vibes   A couple of them sat next to me.  You know the kind.   They think they’re the most talented artists around.  They are usually seniors belonging to prestigious art clubs and have been going to art school forever.  They desperately want to be famous and sell their art.  Behind me sat a prominent (that’s how he was introduced) sculptor who has been known in the art world.  I tried to engage in a conversation but was dismissed.  They always look down their noses when they dismiss you right!

STOP…back to the real topic of this post…Sam.  Why I want to put him on my blog is that he is an example of an artist who creates because it is his soul.  And he is an artist who is open to all people.  He is adjunct professor at NYU teaching photography.  He is a successful freelance photographer working with major companies.  Best of all he is SAM and his work is expressive of the integrity I felt being across the table from him.

The artist savage next to me questioned him with “are you selling on Instagram ?”  He graciously replied that he doesn’t use Instagram as a tool to sell.  He said it was more important to use it to show his work to a large audience.  That being said the senior artist savage grumbled and I know she won’t be using Instagram.

Here’s to Sam Horine.  An artist in the true sense of the word.

His website: http://www.samhorine.com  knock out photography

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE NATIONAL ART CLUB BREAKING TRADITION-A TALK ON ARTISTS USING INSTAGRAM 

  
 I attended a talk about artists using Instagram to promote their work.   The National Art Club is an old traditional art organization.  I got married there in the 1980’s!  I have not kept up with the art they show in many years so I still think they are traditional. 

However, as I searched the Internet I found that they have been evolving.  I must tell on myself.  I’ve never been part of their art scene because I think I’m not good enough for them.  But I won’t let that thinking stop me from seeing what’s going on. 

So here’s what’s going on. 

A panel of 3 artists using Instagram.   

TANIA DEBONO Typography Artist and her website is called TheWriting. 


 
KENNETH SCHLENKER  Art Dealer and creator of an upscale art selling website called ArtList. 

  

SAM HORINE Photographer and Educator NYC

  

WHAT I LEARNED … it’s another venue for showing your artwork.  A bigger venue right now. 

ANOTHER THING I LEARNED … never sit next to artist savages.  Especially the elderly artists who are desperate to sell their work.  You feel the self seeking oozing from their pores.  

And Tania DeBono nipped that in the bud. She said trying to sell on social media is not going to work.  People are turned off by selling artists.  

I found that I am promoting my voice and story as an artist.  Be authentic and the money comes. 

CELEBRATING THE ARTIST D. E. GAYARD 

This is very difficult to write about.  A fellow artist in the NYC Subway platform surrounded by his artwork. I didn’t notice the whole picture and just quickly dismissed him as a general homeless man.  Then I really looked and felt my gut clench because I was staring at the true “starving artist “.  I had a moment of fear and didn’t want to see this.  It was painful.  It could be me!!   And let me tell you some months cash flow is not plentiful. 

But I was drawn to his art. He was good and had talent.  I fearlessly approached him and hoped I could tell him how good his art is.  You never know if people are insane or if the art was stolen.  What followed was the most engaging conversation with a talented fellow artist on hard times.  At one time he was successful in Florida. He had traveled all over the world doing art. Studied at the National Academy of Art.  This was a man on hard times showing his work no matter what. He wasn’t complaining about his situation.  He wasn’t asking for MONEY.  He was a very happy man sketching in the subway engaged in creating. 

I am blessed to have met this fellow artist. The train came and we shook hands good bye.  I felt D. E. Gayard was a true fearless artist.  He blessed me that day.  The only gift I can give this artist is to celebrate him on my blog and tell my followers and the internet world of his existence in the world of art.  

Please pass this post to everyone you know. Spread the name and art of D. E. Gayard.  Don’t let this special artist fall through the cracks of anonymity. 

   
    
 

HOMAGE TO VAN GOGH

My love affair with the work of Van Gogh began in high school.  A lot of people comment that my work is like Van Gogh. Or is Van Gogh’s work like mine??  Here’s to the inner Van Gogh in my work over the years. 

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
   

SOME DAYS IT’S HARDER TO GET OUT OF THE CAVE 

THE CAVE … warm and dark … no people to drive you crazy … no expectations to meet!

  
I used to love the cave.  But the cave was a hide out from life.  Today I redecorated my cave.  I call it the castle of creativity. It’s not dark.  Large trees outside my window are active with squirrels running up and down for entertainment. My easel next to the window with canvas ready to paint.  Solitude is not hiding anymore. Solitude is art. 

  

ON A LIGHTER NOTE 

My last post about “real art” makes me understand how the lack of art experience in the lives of so many people is creating a world of mediocrity and taste based on branding.  You see it all the time in fashion.  People spend big money for labels. A young woman today will spend her whole paycheck on a Louis Vuitton bag.  Designers don’t create beautiful clothing anymore.  Plain fashion with their logo or name overpowering the clothing so the wearer makes sure you know she spent a lot of money on this.  People are so invested in names they have no sense of self.   And they are giving the designer free advertising. 

People want other people to think they their lives are important and they want to be like the celebrities they admire in magazines.  Meanwhile credit card debt increases and society becomes a victim of consumerism.  People chase things.  They use people and love things. 

I still think art and creativity is the antidote to the consumerism mentality today.   I feel like an opera singer at a rock concert.  I’m singing an aria and the electric guitars are drowning out the message.   

WILL SOMEONE HEAR ME?   CAN ARTISTS CHANGE THE WORLD?