3:00am PART II

I was jolted out of sleep with this compelling phrase:

“STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF”.  The title of a 1962 Broadway show starring Anthony Newly. 

 Why did this phrase wake me up?  I’ve never seen this show but that title is running through my brain cells lately.  Of course now that I’m awake I Googled the synopsis of the play.  It’s about a average guy called Littlechap who gets the daughter of a wealthy family pregnant.  Doing the right thing, he marries her but doesn’t love her.  They have a family and he becomes a upperclass man due to his wife’s family.  And he never is involved with his wife or family. He realizes how he’s lived a empty deceitful life and comes to his senses. That is basically my synopsis. 

Interesting, it’s always a story of reaching VIP status.  The desire to enjoy the view from the top.  In the end missing life’s true treasures of relationships. 

As an artist I have been challenged supporting myself in my art.  I was teaching painting but I only had a few dedicated students.  There was no interest and the class was cancelled.  But I realized that I teach a very special type of painting class. I’m a very professional artist and I have the ability to get people to explore their inner artist. They replaced my class with a coloring book class!  The world is so broken 

But today people want to wallow in their problems and they are watching news and getting sick from the politics of the presidential campaign.   I have no TV and I don’t read newspapers.  There’s nothing I need to know and my friends usually let me know.   So the point of this is to keep trying to reach the suffering souls. 

I a working on a group of paintings around the theme of escaping into landscapes.  It is a new vision where I have now put people into my landscapes.  We all need peace and quiet.   Stop the chatter.  Nature heals.  

Experimenting with iPad to insert figures into orignal art

img_6274

Experimenting with iPad to insert figures into orignal art

So that’s where I’m at for today. 

Enjoy Anthony Newly singing “Once In a Lifetime” from Stop the World  

I’VE SIGNED MY FIRST CONTRACT AS A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST!

I have spent two years traveling the “road less traveled “.  There’s a reason why the road is less traveled. I went from an unemployed homeless artist to a life beyond my wildest dreams.  HOW??   


I had a belief that God would carry me to where I would be of service.  Where my talents would be acknowledged. My purpose was to be whatever change I could be in this crazy world.  And I landed in RIVERDALE. THE BRONX!


I wandered the Hudson Valley and created my business “FEARLESS CREATIVITY Art for Arts Sake”.  

I have made a name for myself as an artist.  I’m 65 years old and feel that I can conquer the world. 

I developed a painting class at the Riverdale Senior Center in February.  Last month it was going to be canceled for lack of attendance.  But suddenly the center loves my inspirational teaching and the work from students. 

And Friday I was given a one year contract to continue my mission of everyone can be an artist. 

 




I WAS LOST AND MORE WAS REVEALED 

A lot has been revealed in the past weeks.  I faced a lot about myself and how my purpose was morphing again.  I’m not making things happen.  There was the ADHD gear box.  I was in neutral. Thinking of so many great things but not being able to engage and complete the ideas.  The result was what I created an artist block.  I stopped my art and got lost in the distractions to avoid my vision.

AVOIDANCE!!!   A corrupting thread in my life based on fear.   

I’m facing the fact that creating an art business is work.  I can’t wait for the perfect action to take and have the expectation that it will be the answer.  I need to keep being a doer.  Every day.   

One thing I started to do was paint again.  An artist has to keep honing their skills.  Also I am embarking on going back and renewing my drawing skills.   I’m playing with creating a character of myself in drawing.  Art has to come first and then I will be able to create my art business.

ART FIRST!!!!

image

ANNOUNCING:  MY BLOG DO-OVER

The last few weeks have challenged who I am and where am I going as an artist and blogger. It was not pretty but definitely enlightening to say the least!

Crashing and burning is a sign for me something needs to change.  That thing is usually ME.  

I was trying to learn how to be a successful blogger and business owner.  After listening and researching hundreds of podcasts and listening to an overload of coaches who had different versions of the basic idea (you need them to get it) I found myself concluding that I am a definite loser at the game. 

This morning was the culmination of my life as an artist blogger business owner. . . “I’m a recovering starving artist!!

   
 I froze and lost all belief in my vision and gave up on everything that I have done successfully.  

So Fearless Artist Blog is really about getting my courage back.  Acknowledge my imperfections of learning disabilities and ADHD but not let them take me down.  

I will keep challenging and celebrating ME.   Face the world and speak my truth.  Define my success of perserverance and let my voice about art is for everyone ring out.  

  
   

HELLO MY NAME IS JEAN AND I’M AN ARTIST WITH ADHD 

I wish there was a 12 Step program for my struggles with this issue.  So I am going to adapt AA’s program to help me work through ADHD symptoms that do not serve me as an artist who is building a creative business.  Please join me on a road less traveled – it starts with BELIEF!
  

DISCLAIMER:  I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR.  I ONLY SHARE MY EXPERIENCE STRENGTH AND HOPE ON DEALING WITH MY ADHD ISSUES.  PLEASE CONSULT PROFESSIONAL HELP TO DETERMINE YOUR NEEDS. 

I have been blogging for a very short time.  It was done without really thinking about what my blog would be.  I admit I was impulsive and said this may work (or not).  So I wanted to let artists know how I recovered from a 30 year artist block that ended in the loss of a 13 year marriage and losing  custody of my 5 year old son due to the destruction of my true self.  That is a whole other post.  

I AM READY FOR THE NEXT BLOGGER LEVEL.  TRANSPARENCY.  AUTHENTICITY AND CREATIVITY.  

I never knew I had ADHD until I turned 50.  I struggled my whole life to survive and fit in a world I didn’t understand.  I ended up abusing alcohol and drugs to self medicate since I was 11 years old.  In February 2001 I destroyed myself and everyone around me.  I was sent to a treatment center in Pennsylvania for 30 days but I was so sick I ended up there for 7 months.  On September 10, 2001 I left rehab with a suitcase and pillow and quilt to my new apartment in Queens. The next morning 9/11 happened.  I realize now what a metaphor that was.  The end of New York City as we knew it (safe and routine).  As I watched the Towers crumble before my eyes in disbelief the impact of something so permanent crashing down and disappearing in a short time I now see as the crumbling of my life as knew it was also crashing. 

I needed to rebuild me. 

6 months later I was diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities.  FINALLY EVERYTHING MADE SENSE!  I learned I was not crazy, lazy or stupid.  

So I want to let my blogging friends know who I am and how I dealt with my struggles to manage a life that was lost for so many years.

In 2009 I was laid off from a 19 year legal secretary position in a very large New York City law firm.  I didn’t see the gift this would eventually become.  I had to make a decision at the age of 57 to not hide out in a secretarial job.  I had to face the question either I’m an artist or not.  Am I willing to go to any lengths to finally be visible and show my art. 

I’m committed to finally being free to stop giving up on myself and my talent.  My previous posts show my journey. Now I am adding to that journey the up and down pathways of a artist of maturity in a world of economic uncertainty creating a prosperous business in the arts. 

I’m spiritually guided to help artists who struggle with believing that they can’t be successful.  Who have given up on their art. Who feel that they are too old or not good enough to live a creative life.  This is not for artists who want to do art to make money and be famous.  I’m an artist who does art because I must.  I never paint to sell.  I have come out of the cave and have built a big internet exposure slowly.  I have done art shows where I was the oldest person there. Also the only woman artist. I don’t think about being old and not fitting in. In fact I am grateful to be able to have my work out there. When I first let my work be shown I SOLD MY ART! And I continue to sell. 

My vision expanded to be an inspirational artist speaker and coach to help those who have ADHD or artist blocks.  

THIS BLOG IS ABOUT BEING A FEARLESS ARTIST.  BEING A SUCCESSFUL ARTIST DEALING WITH ADHD SYMPTOMS.  I NOW WORK WITHOUT EGO.  I WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE SUCCESS. I DEFINE SUCCESS IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.  

IT STARTS WITH BELIEF!

  


MEET PHOTOGRAPHER SAM HORINE

image

 

 

 

As an artist in today’s art world I make sure I get out and learn what other artists are doing to be successful with their art.  I posted the lecture I attended at the National Arts Club on how artists are using Instagram to promote their work. 

I took a seat in the front row as I always do and that put me within a foot of the handsome face of Sam Horine, one of the guest speakers   Sam radiated a sense of true authenticity and confidence without ego   I’m good at picking up “artistic ego driven” vibes   A couple of them sat next to me.  You know the kind.   They think they’re the most talented artists around.  They are usually seniors belonging to prestigious art clubs and have been going to art school forever.  They desperately want to be famous and sell their art.  Behind me sat a prominent (that’s how he was introduced) sculptor who has been known in the art world.  I tried to engage in a conversation but was dismissed.  They always look down their noses when they dismiss you right!

STOP…back to the real topic of this post…Sam.  Why I want to put him on my blog is that he is an example of an artist who creates because it is his soul.  And he is an artist who is open to all people.  He is adjunct professor at NYU teaching photography.  He is a successful freelance photographer working with major companies.  Best of all he is SAM and his work is expressive of the integrity I felt being across the table from him.

The artist savage next to me questioned him with “are you selling on Instagram ?”  He graciously replied that he doesn’t use Instagram as a tool to sell.  He said it was more important to use it to show his work to a large audience.  That being said the senior artist savage grumbled and I know she won’t be using Instagram.

Here’s to Sam Horine.  An artist in the true sense of the word.

His website: http://www.samhorine.com  knock out photography

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE NATIONAL ART CLUB BREAKING TRADITION-A TALK ON ARTISTS USING INSTAGRAM 

  
 I attended a talk about artists using Instagram to promote their work.   The National Art Club is an old traditional art organization.  I got married there in the 1980’s!  I have not kept up with the art they show in many years so I still think they are traditional. 

However, as I searched the Internet I found that they have been evolving.  I must tell on myself.  I’ve never been part of their art scene because I think I’m not good enough for them.  But I won’t let that thinking stop me from seeing what’s going on. 

So here’s what’s going on. 

A panel of 3 artists using Instagram.   

TANIA DEBONO Typography Artist and her website is called TheWriting. 


 
KENNETH SCHLENKER  Art Dealer and creator of an upscale art selling website called ArtList. 

  

SAM HORINE Photographer and Educator NYC

  

WHAT I LEARNED … it’s another venue for showing your artwork.  A bigger venue right now. 

ANOTHER THING I LEARNED … never sit next to artist savages.  Especially the elderly artists who are desperate to sell their work.  You feel the self seeking oozing from their pores.  

And Tania DeBono nipped that in the bud. She said trying to sell on social media is not going to work.  People are turned off by selling artists.  

I found that I am promoting my voice and story as an artist.  Be authentic and the money comes. 

HOMAGE TO VAN GOGH

My love affair with the work of Van Gogh began in high school.  A lot of people comment that my work is like Van Gogh. Or is Van Gogh’s work like mine??  Here’s to the inner Van Gogh in my work over the years. 

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
   

SOME DAYS IT’S HARDER TO GET OUT OF THE CAVE 

THE CAVE … warm and dark … no people to drive you crazy … no expectations to meet!

  
I used to love the cave.  But the cave was a hide out from life.  Today I redecorated my cave.  I call it the castle of creativity. It’s not dark.  Large trees outside my window are active with squirrels running up and down for entertainment. My easel next to the window with canvas ready to paint.  Solitude is not hiding anymore. Solitude is art. 

  

ON A LIGHTER NOTE 

My last post about “real art” makes me understand how the lack of art experience in the lives of so many people is creating a world of mediocrity and taste based on branding.  You see it all the time in fashion.  People spend big money for labels. A young woman today will spend her whole paycheck on a Louis Vuitton bag.  Designers don’t create beautiful clothing anymore.  Plain fashion with their logo or name overpowering the clothing so the wearer makes sure you know she spent a lot of money on this.  People are so invested in names they have no sense of self.   And they are giving the designer free advertising. 

People want other people to think they their lives are important and they want to be like the celebrities they admire in magazines.  Meanwhile credit card debt increases and society becomes a victim of consumerism.  People chase things.  They use people and love things. 

I still think art and creativity is the antidote to the consumerism mentality today.   I feel like an opera singer at a rock concert.  I’m singing an aria and the electric guitars are drowning out the message.   

WILL SOMEONE HEAR ME?   CAN ARTISTS CHANGE THE WORLD?