THE ART OF HUMILITY: THE PORTRAIT OF DORIAN GRAY BY OSCAR WILDE

Disclaimer: this is a post with a political opinion that is my own. Please do not continue if you agree with President Trump’s recent comments on Charlottesville. I accept everyone’s right to their beliefs.

My blog is an artist blog and after the events of Charlottesville last weekend I saw the President in an Oscar Wilde novel called “The Portrait of Dorian Gray”. It’s a classic story of a corrupt narcissistic young man who barters a deal with the devil to remain youthful and handsome forever. It’s a story of “it’s better to look good than feel good “. Dorian Gray has no humility. A wealthy society man who cares only about himself he commissions a portrait of himself. He fantasizes about how great it would be if he could remain youthful while the painting would age as each year passes.

I recommend the 1945 film with George Sanders and Hurd Hatfield as Dorian Gray.

Dorian and Trump are no different and I am watching the President deteriorate as each day passes. Dorian becomes more self centered and corrupt. He is engaged to a society woman but she is too proper to deflower before marriage. He engages a lower class show girl to satisfy his sexual needs lying about his intention to marry her. When she becomes pregnant he murders her. His portrait meanwhile gets more grotesque as he becomes more evil. He hides the painting in the attic to avoid seeing the truth of who he is.

I see this happening to Trump. The murder of Heather Heyer is the blood on his hands because he has dog whistled the neo nazis, the white supremacists and the Ku Klux Klan to become bolder. And how narcissistic of Trump to not acknowledge her death. To not go to Charlottesville to speak to her parents. He said more good things about the extremists and not one word about Heather. SHAME ON YOU NARCISSISTIC TRUMP. YOUR PORTRAIT IS SHOWING YOUR SINS.

3:00am PART II

I was jolted out of sleep with this compelling phrase:

“STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF”.  The title of a 1962 Broadway show starring Anthony Newly. 

 Why did this phrase wake me up?  I’ve never seen this show but that title is running through my brain cells lately.  Of course now that I’m awake I Googled the synopsis of the play.  It’s about a average guy called Littlechap who gets the daughter of a wealthy family pregnant.  Doing the right thing, he marries her but doesn’t love her.  They have a family and he becomes a upperclass man due to his wife’s family.  And he never is involved with his wife or family. He realizes how he’s lived a empty deceitful life and comes to his senses. That is basically my synopsis. 

Interesting, it’s always a story of reaching VIP status.  The desire to enjoy the view from the top.  In the end missing life’s true treasures of relationships. 

As an artist I have been challenged supporting myself in my art.  I was teaching painting but I only had a few dedicated students.  There was no interest and the class was cancelled.  But I realized that I teach a very special type of painting class. I’m a very professional artist and I have the ability to get people to explore their inner artist. They replaced my class with a coloring book class!  The world is so broken 

But today people want to wallow in their problems and they are watching news and getting sick from the politics of the presidential campaign.   I have no TV and I don’t read newspapers.  There’s nothing I need to know and my friends usually let me know.   So the point of this is to keep trying to reach the suffering souls. 

I a working on a group of paintings around the theme of escaping into landscapes.  It is a new vision where I have now put people into my landscapes.  We all need peace and quiet.   Stop the chatter.  Nature heals.  

Experimenting with iPad to insert figures into orignal art

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Experimenting with iPad to insert figures into orignal art

So that’s where I’m at for today. 

Enjoy Anthony Newly singing “Once In a Lifetime” from Stop the World  

THE DR. SEUSS THEORY OF MY LIFE

I purchased Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You’ll Go ” 15 years ago.  It’s my favorite inspirational book for what life is about.   So this morning my daily writing practice turned to the voice of Dr. Seuss.  

“OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO…” 

Oh the people 

you’ll meet 

It’s a journey worth taking 

But it’s not a small feat 

Though you may want to quit 

Hide your head in the sand

If the fear takes over

You can hold someone’s hand

So be courageous and go towards the light 

Never use avoidance 

To deal with your plight 

This world isn’t pretty 

In fact it is sad

When you keep giving to others 

It negates some of the bad


As an artist standing at the turning point 

Not knowing how far

Keep being creative 

Be the artist you are

I’VE SIGNED MY FIRST CONTRACT AS A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST!

I have spent two years traveling the “road less traveled “.  There’s a reason why the road is less traveled. I went from an unemployed homeless artist to a life beyond my wildest dreams.  HOW??   


I had a belief that God would carry me to where I would be of service.  Where my talents would be acknowledged. My purpose was to be whatever change I could be in this crazy world.  And I landed in RIVERDALE. THE BRONX!


I wandered the Hudson Valley and created my business “FEARLESS CREATIVITY Art for Arts Sake”.  

I have made a name for myself as an artist.  I’m 65 years old and feel that I can conquer the world. 

I developed a painting class at the Riverdale Senior Center in February.  Last month it was going to be canceled for lack of attendance.  But suddenly the center loves my inspirational teaching and the work from students. 

And Friday I was given a one year contract to continue my mission of everyone can be an artist. 

 




ANNOUNCING:  MY BLOG DO-OVER

The last few weeks have challenged who I am and where am I going as an artist and blogger. It was not pretty but definitely enlightening to say the least!

Crashing and burning is a sign for me something needs to change.  That thing is usually ME.  

I was trying to learn how to be a successful blogger and business owner.  After listening and researching hundreds of podcasts and listening to an overload of coaches who had different versions of the basic idea (you need them to get it) I found myself concluding that I am a definite loser at the game. 

This morning was the culmination of my life as an artist blogger business owner. . . “I’m a recovering starving artist!!

   
 I froze and lost all belief in my vision and gave up on everything that I have done successfully.  

So Fearless Artist Blog is really about getting my courage back.  Acknowledge my imperfections of learning disabilities and ADHD but not let them take me down.  

I will keep challenging and celebrating ME.   Face the world and speak my truth.  Define my success of perserverance and let my voice about art is for everyone ring out.  

  
   

THE ART OF DANIEL MESSNER 

I’m sure you guessed the relationship. Daniel Messner is my son. He attends College upstate New York.  He also has been an active collaborator in my journey to break my 30 year art block.  This post is to honor his love and support to his mom. 

First I want to show his artistic expression when he was around 7 years old.  When I broke my art block I did at a paint your own pottery place in Brooklyn. He reluctantly came with me but this is what came out of showing up. 

 

Ceramic Glazed Tile by Daniel Messner

 

This is my favorite tile.  Kudos Dan!

Here we are at my first show at the Art Students League in New York. I believe it was 2006. 

  

BEING LARGE AS AN ARTIST 

I have been on a journey in the last year plus creating a business that promotes art for arts sake. I am a 64 year old woman artist who came out of the cave in 2009 when I was laid off of a 20 year job as a legal secretary.  I didn’t know that this was the start of being reborn. 
I was a slave to the belief that art would never support me.  I was 50 years old when I finally broke my 30 year artist block and came back to joy of who I truly am.   I have not gone back to the security of a corporate job since. 
THIS IS NOT AN EASY TASK!!   Especially with ADHD and learning disabilities.  However, I finally became the artist I was meant to be.   I didn’t think twice as I took the actions to be showing my work.   There were many times I was the only woman and the oldest artist in a group show.  But I knew I was a good artist. I never compared myself to others and was able to engage all the artists as comrades.  

For the first time I stopped trying to be better than others.  I am an artist among artists.  So I can be connected with people whatever age they are.  I feel I can be any age in my mind.  I have the joy of living. 

So my business is about engaging people to be creative.  I’m teaching iPad painting classes around the Hudson Valley in New York.  I got my first iPad in 2011 for my 60th birthday.   I found art apps and my world of creativity exploded. I have become a more prolific artist with this technology. 

I’m the Pied Piper of iPad art and I’m finally being heard.  I was co-curator at an exhibition on digital art with a focus on iPad painting.  I’m teaching workshops at gallery.  The Riverdale Press gave a good review of the show.  The community is aware of my name.  

Here is my mission statement for Fearless Creativity Art for Arts Sake:

“FEARLESS CREATIVITY is about art is important for everyone. Creativity is not just for the talented.  The mission of Fearless Creativity is to engage people who believe they are not creative by participating in non-judgmental art classes using traditional art mediums and technology with iPads and smartphones.  In doing art for fun and expression they will experience a psychic change in how they are in the world.  Today’s world is a fearful place.  More than ever people experience worry and depression.  The result is high levels of cortisol consistently destroying health.  Art soothes the mind and helps us solve problems creatively.  It reduces stress and lowers cortisol so are health improves.  Our lives expand, love increases and we have hope. “

 

Created by Jean Messner on iPad using ArtRage app

 


ART IS EVERYWHERE!!  THE BRONX IS BEAUTIFUL!!

Yesterday I was in a pity pot about how awful my life is.  I’ll never be successful with my creative business and I will end up living in poverty.   AND I DON’T HAVE A VALENTINE!!   HYSTERICAL!!!

I had to meet my ex-husband in the city in -15 degree weather.  I hopped onto the 1 train and continued to cry under my two wool scarves.  Then I peered up from my hide-out and noticed a young couple across the way happy to be together on Valentines Day.  THIS CHANGED MY BRAIN!!   I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS A WONDERFUL PICTURE!!  I ASKED IF I COULD TAKE THEIR PICTURE FOR MY BLOG.  

I FORGOT ALL MY PROBLEMS AND NOW KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH A PART OF MY LIFE AND ART. 

  

HELLO MY NAME IS JEAN AND I’M AN ARTIST WITH ADHD 

I wish there was a 12 Step program for my struggles with this issue.  So I am going to adapt AA’s program to help me work through ADHD symptoms that do not serve me as an artist who is building a creative business.  Please join me on a road less traveled – it starts with BELIEF!
  

DISCLAIMER:  I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR.  I ONLY SHARE MY EXPERIENCE STRENGTH AND HOPE ON DEALING WITH MY ADHD ISSUES.  PLEASE CONSULT PROFESSIONAL HELP TO DETERMINE YOUR NEEDS. 

I have been blogging for a very short time.  It was done without really thinking about what my blog would be.  I admit I was impulsive and said this may work (or not).  So I wanted to let artists know how I recovered from a 30 year artist block that ended in the loss of a 13 year marriage and losing  custody of my 5 year old son due to the destruction of my true self.  That is a whole other post.  

I AM READY FOR THE NEXT BLOGGER LEVEL.  TRANSPARENCY.  AUTHENTICITY AND CREATIVITY.  

I never knew I had ADHD until I turned 50.  I struggled my whole life to survive and fit in a world I didn’t understand.  I ended up abusing alcohol and drugs to self medicate since I was 11 years old.  In February 2001 I destroyed myself and everyone around me.  I was sent to a treatment center in Pennsylvania for 30 days but I was so sick I ended up there for 7 months.  On September 10, 2001 I left rehab with a suitcase and pillow and quilt to my new apartment in Queens. The next morning 9/11 happened.  I realize now what a metaphor that was.  The end of New York City as we knew it (safe and routine).  As I watched the Towers crumble before my eyes in disbelief the impact of something so permanent crashing down and disappearing in a short time I now see as the crumbling of my life as knew it was also crashing. 

I needed to rebuild me. 

6 months later I was diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities.  FINALLY EVERYTHING MADE SENSE!  I learned I was not crazy, lazy or stupid.  

So I want to let my blogging friends know who I am and how I dealt with my struggles to manage a life that was lost for so many years.

In 2009 I was laid off from a 19 year legal secretary position in a very large New York City law firm.  I didn’t see the gift this would eventually become.  I had to make a decision at the age of 57 to not hide out in a secretarial job.  I had to face the question either I’m an artist or not.  Am I willing to go to any lengths to finally be visible and show my art. 

I’m committed to finally being free to stop giving up on myself and my talent.  My previous posts show my journey. Now I am adding to that journey the up and down pathways of a artist of maturity in a world of economic uncertainty creating a prosperous business in the arts. 

I’m spiritually guided to help artists who struggle with believing that they can’t be successful.  Who have given up on their art. Who feel that they are too old or not good enough to live a creative life.  This is not for artists who want to do art to make money and be famous.  I’m an artist who does art because I must.  I never paint to sell.  I have come out of the cave and have built a big internet exposure slowly.  I have done art shows where I was the oldest person there. Also the only woman artist. I don’t think about being old and not fitting in. In fact I am grateful to be able to have my work out there. When I first let my work be shown I SOLD MY ART! And I continue to sell. 

My vision expanded to be an inspirational artist speaker and coach to help those who have ADHD or artist blocks.  

THIS BLOG IS ABOUT BEING A FEARLESS ARTIST.  BEING A SUCCESSFUL ARTIST DEALING WITH ADHD SYMPTOMS.  I NOW WORK WITHOUT EGO.  I WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE SUCCESS. I DEFINE SUCCESS IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.  

IT STARTS WITH BELIEF!