I won’t beat myself up for getting lost in my ADHD head the past few weeks. I had exertion/exhaustion. I gave too much of myself and that doesn’t benefit my goals. 

I’m in the process of weeding out vampires who will take my energy away. I can’t rescue the world. 

 I must take care of my health and my mind now. Health is wealth!

I have had setbacks recently with workshops being pushed back. So I am using the free time to do more art on my iPad!  What a joy. Here are some new paintings. 





I received an email yesterday for an offer to buy a painting that was in the last show I did. This is what the email said:

“Hi  I saw this brilliant painting of a field of sunflowers at sunset at the Riverdale Y show this past August. It is so full of energy – fiery like nothing else! And also very moody.” 

This is why I paint. I want to engage the viewer to feel the emotion of the painting. My art comes from my soul and my life.  My art is not a hobby.  That is why I have to give it value and not underprice it just to sell. This painting had a lot of attention and people would try to bargain it down. I wouldn’t do it because it would have taken the value of it down.  I can use the money but who I am is invested in that work of art.  Money can’t be the issue in my art. 

Today I realized that the pain of my childhood neglect and abuse is the value of my art.  I dealt with a very painful childhood by staying in my room for hours drawing and shutting out the world.  I don’t want to get into details but it was a very lonely life and I did try to kill myself at the age of 8. So it was bad.  My mother left me with my grandmother who had mental illness and she would yell or hide in the dark kitchen ignoring me. She never fed me until my mom came home from work.  This is when I went into my world of fantasy and started to stay in my room for hours drawing. I had no friends because they were afraid of my grandmother and it was a hoarder house. So this was my art school training. Self taught talent that got me accepted into the High School of Art & Design in 1966. 

I must value my art. I have always put myself down because I never went to college.  I never pursued my art and blocked it out for 30 years.  Now I am out of the cave and have seen that my work is really good. Why would I undervalue it. It is very emotional to me and it is created not just for money but as the expression of who I am from the depths of my childhood pain. 


  I always say we need to be givers not takers but I am aware of red flags of giving to the wrong people.

I’m experiencing a phenomenon that artists are looked upon as not being serious professionals and what they do has no real benefit to the world. Artists are just a group of creative people who make paintings to decorate homes or to be collected by wealthy investment bankers.  If you are an artist who is not showing at Art Basel and the hottest trend then you are invisible.

I don’t need to be famous. But I want to be paid for my creative skills. Which brings me to the point of this post.  I will not give away my time or knowledge for free.

I am shocked at how many people pick my brain about iPad painting. Promoting my iPad painting workshops has been exhausting. I am treading a new path and there are a lot of biases to break through. So I have been giving a lot of lectures on it. In order to get people to register I have been too free on details which has given them the information to get the apps themselves and screw my workshop. I have been learning this iPad painting on my own since 2011. I consistently study all the ins and outs of every art app. This is my hard work and people want the information for free.

I joined a art organization in Riverdale when I moved here last October. I went to their business meeting and realized it was a bunch of seniors who do art. And they were rude and ignored me. The fact that they were hanging their paintings in an urgent care doctor waiting room really made me run. I couldn’t associate with them because they would tear my reputation down. But they consistently nudge me to give a lecture on my iPad painting to the group.  When I told them what I charge for the lecture the director told me that they don’t pay members to give lectures to the group.  Here is an art group that doesn’t think their members knowledge is worth paying for. Thank God my membership is over next month.

I have pitched my workshop and shown what I can do and when they ask how or what app I use I answer come to the workshop and find out.

An artist works hard to learn their skills. It is not all fun and games. Artists go to college to study art. If art were easy they wouldn’t have colleges giving out MFAs. ARTISTS ARE PROFESSIONALS!

I value my talent today and I demand respect. If you want to do what I do you need to pay for my knowledge.