To thine own self be true! Hallowed words.
Am I chasing validation or am I truly creating?
Am I pleasing you or am I pleasing my inner soul…my creative vision?
“Do you like it?” A phrase I must never utter or think. I will never be free to create living in that mindset.
My newest paintings are abstract. Not what I usually paint. The comments can be harsh. “What does that mean?” “I like your other work better “.
But I can’t worry about what others think. After all I am an artist!
Lately I’ve been cognitively challenged in respect to painting. I am turning 67 in August so I am wondering if my mind is more confused now. However, artists should always be welcoming the ups and downs in their creative process if they want to be good.
I decided to challenge my challenge by enrolling in a painting class at Lehman College in the Bronx. Now I’m out of my comfort zone and doing a reset as a beginner. My theory is when I’m stuck revert back to being a beginner. Now every Thursday morning I take the crowded BX10 bus and show up at 9:30 am even when my mind says “I don’t wanna”. Even when there isn’t an inspirational thought in my head. I get to the studio and work on a painting project that is dictated by the professor. This gets me out of doing it my way. Humility. Now I stare at a blank canvas with a blank mind. God what can I paint??? I have to paint my first self portrait. Ugh. Just do it Jean. Whatever comes out comes out. So here is my first self portrait in acrylic.