Okay this may be a strange title but I have experienced this when I was in my artist block for 30 years.
So here it goes. When I gave up my art I did it in a big way. I not only stopped creating I stopped going to museums and art shows. I couldn’t look at art. It was too painful to see what I had stopped doing. In those years my goals were to survive financially and find a husband to support me.
I was such a lost soul. Empty. I took jobs that I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t care about the job just the paycheck. I couldn’t keep jobs. I was not good at administrative work. My mind was not wired to be organized. I never wanted a job that was too responsible. I wanted jobs where my desk was far away in a corner and all I would be required to do was small. I didn’t even want to answer phones!
So I had no self esteem and I needed to get rid of the pain. Drinking was an option and antidepressants too. But a better thing was shopping! I needed to have my outsides looking good. I was always buying clothes. I made sure I never wore the same outfit twice in a week. I wasn’t making a lot of money at these jobs but I used credit cards to shop. I blocked out the consequences of having to eventually pay the bills. I never made enough money to pay them back. I had awful credit card debt and ended up in bankruptcy!!
The need to look good took me down. I was filling my empty soul with things. When I broke my artist block something big happened in my brain. Creating art put me in a zone that filled my empty soul. I was lifted to another dimension. My self esteem and confidence improved. I got myself back.
Today my world is BIG. I used to love things and use people. Today I love people and use things. Creativity has given me a purpose in life. I connect to people through art. I no longer think about my selfish needs. My fear of people has been lifted. Through my art I have been able to bridge cultural barriers. The big picture of art is that barriers can be broken.
So I believe that people are today are chasing designer labels trying to mask the fear of reality. Women who are living at poverty level yet wear a $2000 handbag. People have been brainwashed by designers that in order to fit into society they have to wear their clothes. The truth is the designer is getting free advertising from the consumers. The world is broken. Greed is in charge. Looking good is more important than connection to people. The sickness starts even in grade school.
Creativity can bring people together. Creativity makes life bigger. Creativity is not frivolous. We need to make it a necessity. Get it???